Muddy Waters

Muddy Waters. I feel like this is what I am travelling in right now. It is warm and soothing but sometimes you step on sharp objects that hurt your feet. I have much joy and sadness in my life right now. I have fallen out of relationship with a dear friend. I value her, but actions I have taken have caused deep pain. I am truly sorry for the pain, but rejoice knowing that she has Jesus. I anticipate restoration, but know that there is a deep healing that must occur. So to all my friends, may God's peace which transcends all our understanding descend into your lives like He has in mine.

I've Decided...

I had coffee today with a good friend and I came to a conclusion. I over-analyze stuff. I think way to much and stress out about things. Love is the spice of life. There is not just one person for me who if I don't marry them I will be destined to a life of misery. I believe that there are a few that I could be very happy with most of the time and some that I would be very irritated with most of the time, so I will choose the first. I am looking for a place where I can be safe and secure and for someone whom with I can give that safe and secure place as well. One friend told me I was unapproachable, not well said but true. Another one said I have a wall that is cracked, but the things that are leaking through are amazing and that when the wall finally comes down it is going to be amazing. I like this analogy better.

I have been pushing people to see if they will stay. THIS IS WRONG. I am here to love and be loved. So no more pushing. I am alowed to challenge people to be the best they can be and they can push me to be my best. No running away!

So I have decided today to be a friend and walk this path that I am on and it is this path that another will join me on, whether we walk forever or just a little, I am going to enjoy it and not freak out.

How Do You Decide? Part 2

I have been receiving some interesting responses both direct comments and by e-mail in my quest for wisdom. Responses causing me to say “Am I like that?” I think I like to be some what aloof when it comes to men. For one thing it tells me whether they are going to pursue me, which is what a woman wants. Not to be treated like an object, but to know that they are worth fighting for. I had a rather interesting experience recently. WHICH WILL REMAIN TO BE MY SECRET UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Honesty is the best policy we decided, so we have had some very open discussions, the fact that I run from relationships, because I fear making the wrong choice and because I fear hurting another person. So it is “much better” if I break up before it gets to serious. We decided it is good to get to know someone before you drop all of your deep dark issues on them. It can be very over-whelming and create and unequal relationship where one party feels responsible for the other person’s well being.

So what is it that I look for in a man and refuse to go without. (This for all the boys who wonder how Sherry Palmer ticks and just what exactly is my standard.

I do think deep about relationships and men because I am not willing to settle for someone less than what God has for me. I know that the man God has for me will not be intimidated by me or my roommates. That is one reason I like having roommates they give that buffer zone that parents were once responsible for and they allow for a debriefing situation. #1 after Godly, not intimidated by me or my relationships. I am very charming and sweet and can get pretty much whatever I want if I try. He has to be open minded, not given to gossip, complaining, or bitterness. He has to have male friends that he hangs out with regularly and the ability to chase me and not give up, when I try to shut him down. Other endearing qualities assertive, not passive-aggressive. I just won’t tolerate someone who complains but never uses his power to change his situation.

I like to think I am fairly open, but realistically if your mama didn't teach you how to do stuff, I ain't gonna be you mama. I have no desire to train up men, except my many brothers, who need to move out of their parents home and move in together so they can get a feel for real relationship outside of family.

I have just recently had a conversation with one of my dear friends. We both hung out with boys most of our lives. We are girly girls but this is what she said to her fiance. Girls who are friends with guys don't want more cause it will mess up the friendship, but if the girl wants it to be more than you'll be okay, otherwise just don't. He didn't like that answer, but that's the way it really is.

How do you decide?

SO here's the thing I have been single for 27 years give or take 6 months. Probably take since a give would meean having dated when I was in my mommy's tummy. See there is this longing with in that says, get married, but there is this other part that starts freaking out when a guy says you have nice legs or your pretty. Take your pick. I always have it figured out until my brain kicks out and other chemicals kick in. What would a guy have to be like in order to be God's best pairing for me. I don't think I even have a clue of what it means to be in love. I know that I love my roommates, but they are girls and I always have the out of eventually we won't live together anymore. But what about when you get married? I want to not just marry for the sake of marrying, but I want to marry my best friend, or iis that impossible? Do they become your best friend after you marry them? I just don't know. I am definitely open to any wisdom or remarks and for those men out there who know me what kind of a guy could I marry and not pushover with my charm?

I just got a new camera and had to try it out when I came across this cool lookin' guy on a bike...
and then there were these wacky girls... I love my friends!!!
The sheps sailed with the sheep and the pilgrimage was plucked.

So if 3 out of four people never read your blog and no one ever tells them that their picture was posted do you have to ask permission or is being my friend impiled consent? hee hee hee Hope you are all having a great day out there in blogger world.

No I did not fall off the face of the Earth

I guess I should say what is up with me. Well I have written 3 of 5 finals. I feel good about the last two and generally I do alright on the ones I feel okay about. I have to write a final on Interpersonal realtionships on Monday and my Anatomy final on thursday. This one needs lots of studying. My goal is to get and 85.

So anyhoo, I am...well I ahh yah. I am a little tired. Oh I know I played ball on Wednesday and let me tell you I am very sore. I was hitting balls out and lets just say I haven't used my batting muscles in a very long time. It actually hurts to breath.

Still reading the book Blue like Jazz. I really like it. I do not actually think it is possible to create and post modern service that would connect to post modern people. I think we will see more home groups popping up. I am going to end this blog here before I write something I regret and God has to delete my blog:)

Grrr I'm a bear!

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!"You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.If only your routine didn't always bomb!You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

Jacob

Our little Jacob was hit by a car tonight and we are all quite traumatized. Please pray for our girl family and he was our fuzzy source of joy.

The house is eerily quiet. There is a deep sense of loss that surrounds us now. Though it has been less than 24 hours... I don't know what to say. We feel so lost with out him. Bursting into tears at the thought of him. He was more than just our pet he was our friend. It seems silly at the amount of tears shed, but there is something deep that is happening and right now we are raw and hurting. It is as if a family member has died. Words cannot describe what Jacob meant to us.