The Voice Speaks

The voice speaks, but do I listen. I know His love is pure, but I doubt His hand that guides me. Why do I allow myself to stand in the way of the One who knows my depths? He knows the timing of my marriage. He knows what makes me giggle and grin. He knows the words that wound my heart and the brave face I wear is simply my mask that covers my writhing pain. He is gracious and sweet to me. He takes His hand and puts it on the small of my back, then looks deep into my eyes and says speak my child for I am listening. I open my mouth and speak He hears. Ah, what is this? He has brought in my friends to listen as I speak of the pain in my heart. They hear, but do not run. They speak His word to my heart. They say that I am precious and that I have value. I am worthy of life and I am worthy to be loved. I do not have to walk in fear of condemnation or disapproval. I am approved of by the One who created me I have life abundantly and with out shame. I will dance before my king and not be ashamed. I will speak wisely and not get caught up in foolish talk pertaining to opinions or earthly concerns. I will concern myself with the things of God and know that He has said I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

Dear God, search my heart and find the offensive ways in me, then open my eyes to them so that they may be banished from Your presence, from my life. You are the One who has brought me out of the muck and mire. I declare this night that I will walk in your truth and in your light. I choose to know that you are my God and My life, that because you are in me, I have nothing to fear and no one can question my value. Thank you. I love you!

I Give Up!

Things I have known from the time I was 5:
1. God is with me.
2. God is for me.
3. God loves me.

Things I have learned in the past few weeks:
1. God is more stubborn than me.
2. God knows what is best for me.
3. God brought me here, so he is obviously going to take me the rest of the way.

Yes I the princess warrior who knows God has a destiny for her finally came kicking and screaming, battered, bruised and defeated to a Transformations Group. I had every excuse and used all the lines..." God really wants me to focus on my one on one relationships, I don't need to be in a group..."LOL. Right! I am now in submission to a wonderful leader who knows exactly how busy I am and I her, but we are there. And God has blessed me with the perfect one on one partner with whom I can share the deepest of secrets and won't look at me in shock or horror.

Things I learned tonight:
1. Submission is way less painful and tiring then rebellion.
2. God promises to make me beautiful, if I will quit worrying about my clothes.
3. He loves me so much that he will allow me to be hurt(disciplined), so that I listen to Him and be come obedient.

I love changing my attitude, i think I will change it quicker next time.

Time Management and Emotional Health

What is time management? Is it mean squeezing every useful minute until it has been exhausted of is it just recognizing that I have a moment so why don't I do something with it? That is what I am doing now I have 5 minutes before I have to go to class and I thought I would put out a hello and this weeks lesson.

If you are not sure where you stand with someone, ask. When you ask all the emotions and time you have been dedicating to dreaming or dreading about that person are freed up. I promise that this was the best thing I could do for my emotional health this week. Try it and tell me how you feel after:)

Loving enough to let go

For those of you who may not know this I love to be in control. I like to know where I am going, how I am getting there, how long it is going to take and if I am going to be required to stop at every bathroom and point of interest along the way. God being so kind and gracious let's me know somethings like I am going to be in nursing school for the next three years and then it's a surprise. (I had to wait two years to get this direction in life, I think I wore him out with asking, ha ha). The hardest thing he asks me to do is to embrace hurting people, build them up with his love and insight and then let them go on to impact others. These people are friends whom I love, but can not keep. I am at a point with one of my newer friends that I can either continue to use the gifts God has given me or I can just not risk anything and continue on having a pleasant shallow friendship. I know that I shall choose to risk, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am glad to be trusted and safe. For two years God trained me through Tim and Darcy and SAI how to be a safe, loving, loved and engaged person. Thanks I know that was the path that God had me on. I'm diving in!
p.s. does anyone know how I can add your blogs to my list?

It's all the Craze!

MSN messenger it's all the craze. People talking through computers, better or worse then a telephone. Well if you have people with whom you can chat for hours MSN is perfect because it keeps your phone free for roommates. Can you get addicted to MSN yes. First it is all innocent you just check to see if a friend is online, then you think oh I will just leave it on for a little in case someone wants to contact me. Then it goes into full blown obsession, you are checking it every two minutes while you are working and you think you here the little ding so you race back, but no it was just your dinger in your donger. Yep this is my confession, I made it a bit of an idol, but it is under better control now. I think it helps that I am over my eyeballs in readings and assignments. Do I hate MSN? Not on your life I get to develop and sustain friendships all over the world with just a click of a button. Spiritual application> Spend time with the G-man. I actually think he is the one dinging in my donger cause I keep getting distracted. OK so not really applicable to the story, but who said I always had to be serious and super inciteful. Blessings to you all!

On the road again...just kidding

Well though I am home and loving it I find my mind and heart wondering to the people and places I came to love and/or tolerate. I can honestly say I do not hate anyone, but boy my heart gets roughed up and worn out by some people. Permit me to ponder points of perplexity and profoundness. Fact I am 26 years old, single, a nursing student (hee,hee,hee) and I live with four amazing roommates. I love how we laugh together and have become such great friends. What do I attribute this to? God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. We all think about moving out when life gets messy, but then we think a) do I really want to move back in with my parents, b) where can I go that will be cheaper than this? c) I am only a ten minute walk from school and 7 if I actually walk fast or d) what is it in my pride that is making me think about moving out and how do I have to deal with it? Just this week we had a nice little discussion about food ownership, and cleaning. These are the things women argue about! So we were talking and then we discovered the real issue, it was that we feel selfish when we would label our food, but if we didn't label it we would get angry/frustrated if it wasn't there when we were looking for it. We discussed in length if this was actually selfish or not. The conclusion was no. We find more freedom in things being labelled because than we can ask the owner of the food if we can have some and they have the opportunity to practice their saying yes or no skills. If the person says yes, but really wanted to say no, it ain't my fault and that is a whole different issue. I think this is how God works. He has all sorts of wonderful things stored up for us and all we have to do is ask. Sometimes I think he takes a long time to make up his mind, but then when you get what you were asking for it is that much sweeter. I am so glad that God has given me roommates with whom I argue and disagree with, so that I can become a better communicator and lover of people's differences. Blessings to you all.

I'm Home Yayyyy!

I have returned from the far corners of the land. My friends are all watching the riders play the Bombers, so I am just stooing into say hello and returning to the game now. GO RIDERS!!

Faith

My God is amazing. I attended a gathering in Quebec the last weekend in july and a lady there prayed for me. First off, she prayed for gifts of Faith and Healing for me. Next she asked me what I was doing, so I told her I would be going into Nursing this fall. She laughed and said "Do you know what I do?" So I said "Are you a nurse?" She was and is now in the administartion end of things. She was wonderful. I knew that I was to be in Nursing, but this has given me just a little more umph to believe and follow through. This weekend «i went with the campers on their over night excurision. We fif some boating and riding on a banana, yesterday and one of the girls dropped her ring in the water. I saw it drop, but didn't think it was a ring, just thought it was water or something. So today I prayed and asked God to show me where the ring was, so that I could give him glory. He did and I did. Afterwards I was journalling and one of the little boys from my group asked me what I was doing and so I told him that I was writing a prayer and that I was thanking God for showing me where Mauve's ring was. Two people got to here that God is love. This makes me super happy for the week. 7 days left in Québec then back west I go. Can't wait to see all of you that I know.