Apparently I have shocked all of my readers in to oblivion by posting 3 blogs in one month.
I have come to a very weird point of surrender in my journey of following God. 10 years ago this past spring God asked me if I was will to be single for the rest of my life. I said yes if that is what you want. I struggled and triumphed and struggled as I walk with God down this wondrous path. I cried out to hm to let me marry or let me die or at least let that desire of marriage die. Either one worked but something had to die. Sometimes he would let me be in relationship whether it be dating or crushes so that I would loathe the counterfeit of His true love.
I have thought of to many men surely he must be the one. I would remind God that I was getting, uh how shall we put this... OLD! or at least compared to his mother who was twelve maybe fourteen. Yes I said I would do whatever. I have tried to like what they like, do what they do and be what they are. You know what I hated it and I would hate them for "making" me be that way, but it wasn't their fault I didn't know who I was. I am now surrendering to who God has made me to be.
I will tell you one thing I like to do. Come close so I can whisper it to you. I love to worship. If I could worship everyday all day for the rest of eternity I would do it. I love acknowledging that God is God no matter what my circumstances appear to be like He knows what is going on.
This week I have come to a place of surrender in my life concerning marriage. I have told God that if I must I will get married. Weird huh?! It is the truth. I told God that if it would serve his purposes more fully and that more people would come to know him through my getting married I would.
I really love being single and doing as I feel the Lord leads. I love that he is my Lover. (no cheesy chistianese intended) I grieve the thought of having to place my trust in a man who I know will let me down because he is like me, human. On the other hand to walk with a man who loves, trusts and hears the Father's voice bring it on.
He wants our heart - Roxane Bell. This is why he asks for things we want and hold onto. Not to be mean but he wants the WHOLE package, not just the box or the inside he wants ALL of it. Insert peace-filled smile here.