Thursday, May 19, 2011

Checking out of Life!

"I'm taking a break from life." That's what i told my friend today. I said' "Life is too hard. Everybody I talk to is having a crisis." I had a crisis on Sunday. I came home from church sat on my couch and wept. I had just had a beautiful waffle breakfast and all I could do was weep. I thought I was going mental. NO, seriously! I had strong thoughts about checking myself into the psych ward. I thought, maybe I need a nap, so I napped. Nope. Then I thought, I probably need exercise, so I went for a walk, nope, still weeping. Maybe I should eat?! Nope not helping. So then i went to church. I had to, I didn't want to, but I had made a commitment and I couldn't back out.

I saw and friend and told her what was going on, she said I had entered the 4th level. What is that? Maybe i get to be a jedi warrior after I stop crying. Nope I get to be an interceding princess warrior!! How awesome is that. Okay so the 4th level comes after surface, physical, mental/emotional. It's the part where you find deep communion with Holy Spirit!! I watched a video from Steve Wilkerson and he was talking about anguish. He was asking where the anguish was and how anguish preceded great healing and triumph.

I am signing back up. Bring on the crap. I will weep and I will walk and we will triumph. Who am I joking I tried signing up for normal life. It was really boring and victories were lame because the valleys were more like slight depressions in the plateau of life. There were no mountains or rolling hills, just flat steady nothingness.

Hello life! Iiiii'm baaaaack. :)