Reconciliation

If you are going to spend eternity with someone how do you reconcile with them so that you have a functioning healthy relationship?

Remember

It is good to remember what we have learned. I have learned to rejoice when life sucks. I remember that it is better to be single and pursuing Life than to be married and life pursuing me;)

I have met very interesting and amazing people this year. I was also reacquainted with me and my love for adventure. Sometimes I forget how fun I am, mostly due to media influences. So for Christmas I am going for a long beautiful walk. I believe I shall do this the 23&24 as well.

I love myself and am excited to see what the next few days will hold.

Vancouver

Liquid sunshine is pouring down outside the window. A Buddhist monk just walked by. I'm sitting snug and warm sipping fair trade organic coffee. Mmmmm

Beauty and Hard work

I have come to the conclusion that being beautiful is hard work. It takes effort to maintain. For instance my beautiful room requires maintenance or is turns into on obstacle course. Physical beauty sometimes hard sometimes easy. Mostly for me to receive a compliment all I need to do is have a shower, wash y hair and let it dry down. That's the somewhat easy part. The hard part is walking in confidence and not arrogance or fear a beauty tags along. I know you are probably thinking to yourself "I wish I had that problem."

So here's the deal, with beauty comes attention. Sometimes wanted and a often unwanted. What does a woman do. Wear a long skirt? Did that! Well wear a shirt that doesn't show cleavage. Uhh, did that too! So than the quest is to trust my Protector and to learn how to politely shut down unwanted advances yet be the love and light of Christ. See hard work.

That's all for to day:)

Checking out of Life!

"I'm taking a break from life." That's what i told my friend today. I said' "Life is too hard. Everybody I talk to is having a crisis." I had a crisis on Sunday. I came home from church sat on my couch and wept. I had just had a beautiful waffle breakfast and all I could do was weep. I thought I was going mental. NO, seriously! I had strong thoughts about checking myself into the psych ward. I thought, maybe I need a nap, so I napped. Nope. Then I thought, I probably need exercise, so I went for a walk, nope, still weeping. Maybe I should eat?! Nope not helping. So then i went to church. I had to, I didn't want to, but I had made a commitment and I couldn't back out.

I saw and friend and told her what was going on, she said I had entered the 4th level. What is that? Maybe i get to be a jedi warrior after I stop crying. Nope I get to be an interceding princess warrior!! How awesome is that. Okay so the 4th level comes after surface, physical, mental/emotional. It's the part where you find deep communion with Holy Spirit!! I watched a video from Steve Wilkerson and he was talking about anguish. He was asking where the anguish was and how anguish preceded great healing and triumph.

I am signing back up. Bring on the crap. I will weep and I will walk and we will triumph. Who am I joking I tried signing up for normal life. It was really boring and victories were lame because the valleys were more like slight depressions in the plateau of life. There were no mountains or rolling hills, just flat steady nothingness.

Hello life! Iiiii'm baaaaack. :)

The One

I am a big fan of "the One". My prince charming, my night in shiny armour, the man who will sweep me off my feet. Although i would just love if he sweeps, cause I don't:) I vacuum;)

In my years of seeing people get married and people get divorced I have made this conclusion. "The One" is the one you say I do too! Someone once said we become God's first choice when we say yes to Him. I think it is the same in marriage. I would however like to say that there are people who should not marry each other because of abusive patterns and completely opposite moral values and beliefs, but I think now I could marry almost anyone.

I have a friend who we we first met, I was certain God was going to have to kill him, because if He didn't than I would. Now however we are the best of friends, we see each others hearts and love one another as family. Is he perfect no, but than neither am I. I think this is what I am am seeing more and more is that I am a work in progress and if someone finds me or I find them and they are ok with that than I am okay with them:) Marriage and love is a choice. A choice to put our hearts out and to have them hit out of our hand and bruised and crushed, but to continue to trust in the One that truly holds my heart. I love Him and trust Him. He makes the walk easier and very beautiful.

I think I am getting smarter and more reasonable the older I get:)

Motherhood

The picture speaks for itself!(p.s. That's my nephew and my cousin-in-law.)

"I thought you just had a baby." "Did you have a boy or a girl?" "Uh, neither!" That's right folks in my lifetime, I have eloped in Las Vegas, had an afterwedding in Saskatoon(which my parents were informed they had attended). I am a social smoker and I have just recently had a baby but we're not sure if I had a boy or a girl, maybe had twins. I think it is interesting how no one knows who I married, but is certain I did and that I had a child, but no sex(literal and gender!!) LOL I crack myself up.

Ok but in all seriousness motherhood is not for the weary of heart. I often think of this verse.

Isa 54:1 NIV - "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the Lord.

I feel like I have a lot of children lately. I am watching them grow up in the LORD, but alas the only thing I am able to do is pray and encourage them to choose the Lord's way. I just want to shake them and say "Can't you see the path of destruction you are in?" But amidst all of this I see hope. I see people choosing the Lord and desiring to choose Him even if they can't quite cut those bonds yet. Mike was right when he said, "Demons are expensive to get, expensive to maintain and expensive to get rid of." The expense of getting rid of them is sooooo worth it.

So if you are reading this blog and are thinking she's talking about me, you're right I am, sort of. I just know that my prayer is for you to be free. I recommend this link if you want to know who you are and how God see you. He doesn't even reference Psalm 139!

2 Timothy 1:7 expanded/ expounded

For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear (timidity, fearfulness, and cowardice) but he has given us a spirit of power
(1) strength power, ability
a) inherent power, power residing in a thing by virtue of its nature, or which a person or thing exerts and puts forth
b) power for performing miracles
c) moral power and excellence of soul
d) the power and influence which belong to riches and wealth
e) power and resources arising from numbers
f) power consisting in or resting upon armies, forces, hosts

of Love (affection, good will, love, benevolence, brotherly love)

and a sound mind (an admonishing or calling to soundness of mind, to moderation and self-control)


WOW who knew that it actually meant that! Love it.

I said Yes! The countdown is on!

I said yes and now I am super excited. I have to pull out all my organizational skills and powers of persuasion or rather prayer. I am anticipating people coming together to pray, but if it ends up just being me I will still enjoy it.

I am also teaching a class at my church on emotional and sexual integrity. I get to teach with a very dear friend so it will be a blast. Thanks for reading time to go prepare!!

Misty Edwards - I Knew What I Was Getting Into

Life and Loss

Life

We live
We die
We live eternally
We die eternally

My friend's brother just died.
I feel a bit numb.
My eyes start to well with tears but I stop them or they stop themselves.
I want to scream, "WAKE UP, you have life live it!"
I have no voice to talk only eyes that betray my heart.
Where am I?
What am I doing?
Where do I turn?
I turn to You.
Where else would I turn?
Drinking, no, drugs, not likely, men, meh.
I turn to you.
I look to You.
You are the One who gives life.
You are the One who knows my life.
You love me, You see me.
You love me. You know me.
My Love where have you gone?
Let me find you.
Come to me lest I faint here and die without your touch.
I will look for you, look for me.

I am My Beloved's and He is mine:)

Narcoleptic Napping

The title is how I felt today. I was so looking forward to spending time with one of my best friends, but I was just so tired. When I say tired I don't mean yawn, okay now I'm good. I mean full on if I don't put my head down right now it will put it down for me. If you have never ha this experience it is a grand one. Trying to wake up from those naps are brutal, you'll have dream you are trying to wake up and be half trying to wake up. Needless to say I went to bed at 8:30 this evening and Now I am awake after my 2 hour nap. No worries though I think I see a gravol in my near future.

I am in a place now where I require time and space to spend time with God. I am happy about this change and I think it will serve me well or rather do me good. It is time to not be lazy but to pursue His face and heart.

Sidenote: I have decided that I like cats in other peoples houses, so if anyone knows anyone who may want a cat that has been fixed and shot(if you will) I may know of one being given away. It's not my cat so I can't give it away.

Off to bed again so that I can get up early to spend time with my friend.

Discerning/Deciding

If someone asks you to do something and you have a huge Yes in your spirit, how long does one wait to see if the initial adrenaline rush wears off? Or does one simply say yes and believe that His will is being done? hmmmmmm

Archives of wonderfulness

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Saying no to bitternes

I have decided that I would like to live a life of forgiveness and love. I hope that I always love married people and people with children. i have seen too many people lose out on life and blessings because they pine for marriage or children. I love my life of singleness. Being able to live fully abandoned to my King, wow! Yep, just wanted to let you all no that I will not be a bitter woman. Thank you.

Today- Still walking this talk!

Old message from a dear friend. Posted in 2005!

Everytime I come here and see the title to your post I always get this in my head, I think it might be for you! :)

If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(take a chance take a chance take a take a chance chance)

If you change your mind
I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
take a chance on me

-Love, your heavenly Father (and Abba)