Tuesday, May 23, 2006

How Do You Decide? Part 2

I have been receiving some interesting responses both direct comments and by e-mail in my quest for wisdom. Responses causing me to say “Am I like that?” I think I like to be some what aloof when it comes to men. For one thing it tells me whether they are going to pursue me, which is what a woman wants. Not to be treated like an object, but to know that they are worth fighting for. I had a rather interesting experience recently. WHICH WILL REMAIN TO BE MY SECRET UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Honesty is the best policy we decided, so we have had some very open discussions, the fact that I run from relationships, because I fear making the wrong choice and because I fear hurting another person. So it is “much better” if I break up before it gets to serious. We decided it is good to get to know someone before you drop all of your deep dark issues on them. It can be very over-whelming and create and unequal relationship where one party feels responsible for the other person’s well being.

So what is it that I look for in a man and refuse to go without. (This for all the boys who wonder how Sherry Palmer ticks and just what exactly is my standard.

I do think deep about relationships and men because I am not willing to settle for someone less than what God has for me. I know that the man God has for me will not be intimidated by me or my roommates. That is one reason I like having roommates they give that buffer zone that parents were once responsible for and they allow for a debriefing situation. #1 after Godly, not intimidated by me or my relationships. I am very charming and sweet and can get pretty much whatever I want if I try. He has to be open minded, not given to gossip, complaining, or bitterness. He has to have male friends that he hangs out with regularly and the ability to chase me and not give up, when I try to shut him down. Other endearing qualities assertive, not passive-aggressive. I just won’t tolerate someone who complains but never uses his power to change his situation.

I like to think I am fairly open, but realistically if your mama didn't teach you how to do stuff, I ain't gonna be you mama. I have no desire to train up men, except my many brothers, who need to move out of their parents home and move in together so they can get a feel for real relationship outside of family.

I have just recently had a conversation with one of my dear friends. We both hung out with boys most of our lives. We are girly girls but this is what she said to her fiance. Girls who are friends with guys don't want more cause it will mess up the friendship, but if the girl wants it to be more than you'll be okay, otherwise just don't. He didn't like that answer, but that's the way it really is.


Nin said...

I started writting a big long comment.....then I deleted it all and figured I want to have coffee with you. See you next week :)

Camille said...

i like the "your mama" comment. so true!

Andrea said...

It sounds to me like you have a very clear (and "healthy") picture of the kind of man that will suit you. Wait for him Sherry! There is no law that you have to get married--why would you settle for anything less than the best?

When I look back at my whole three years of marriage, I would say that I DID marry my best friend, but that our friendship has changed so wonderfully that he is even more now than just my best friend. He's become even more to me, more special, more lovely, more lovable, more loving, more more more. There really are no words to describe the bond, the connection. I believe that friendship and companionship are very important building blocks, but that God can take your strengths and weaknesses and turn them into something that at this point in your life you can not even begin to anticipate or understand.

Wait for him Sherry, God is preparing you both for each other, and even if you think you're ready, maybe "he" isn't yet!