Saturday, May 20, 2006

How do you decide?

SO here's the thing I have been single for 27 years give or take 6 months. Probably take since a give would meean having dated when I was in my mommy's tummy. See there is this longing with in that says, get married, but there is this other part that starts freaking out when a guy says you have nice legs or your pretty. Take your pick. I always have it figured out until my brain kicks out and other chemicals kick in. What would a guy have to be like in order to be God's best pairing for me. I don't think I even have a clue of what it means to be in love. I know that I love my roommates, but they are girls and I always have the out of eventually we won't live together anymore. But what about when you get married? I want to not just marry for the sake of marrying, but I want to marry my best friend, or iis that impossible? Do they become your best friend after you marry them? I just don't know. I am definitely open to any wisdom or remarks and for those men out there who know me what kind of a guy could I marry and not pushover with my charm?

4 comments:

Janelle said...

that's a tough question. i always wondered how i would KNOW who it was i was supposed to marry.
i had it easy. the first day i met Rod i told Carla that i had met my future husband. i went so far as to tell my Mom too!
Rod on the other hand, wasn't sure for the longest time. He didn't say i love you for over a year.
so, everyone is different. some people just FEEL it, and some people need time to process their feelings. there's nothing wrong with either of them.
Rod was and is my best friend. But i don't believe it has to START that way. you can grow into friendship just like you grow into love. you probably want to wait to marry him until he becomes your best friend - but i don't think it has to start out that way.
i was the opposite of you, i dated TOO much...and then wondered if God would ever put the RIGHT person into my life. i had many wrongs, but there was the RIGHT person waiting for me, when i was open to it, and when God's timing was perfect.
You are an incredible woman - beautiful, funny, committed...there IS that RIGHT one out there for you...and GOd's timing is always perfect, even when we don't understand it. I'm not worried about ya! You will make some LUCKY guy and amazing wife. Maybe that lucky guy just isn't ready yet....
i love ya, and i'm super excited about being able to see you more this summer.

flowerlady said...

I know not every experience is like mine, each person has their own...what I know for sure is that I was doing one heckuva bad job trying to pick my own mate!! I gave up and told God he'd have to stick a neon sign over the guys head and I wouldn't be able to get rid of him and I'd have to be able to respect him (read - not a pushover for my charming personality). Along comes my mate-to-be, we became best friends, I couldn't get rid of him, he didn't bend to my whims (that got my respect)...the rest is history 14 years long. Hang in there sweetheart, if it's gonna be, it'll be...hey we thought we wouldn't be able to have any kids and now look...maybe you'll have 6 husbands (just kidding)

Camille said...

WOW
yah, Sherry you can totally marry your best friend. Going into marriage I was like, "oh yah we're best friends", but it is even more true now than when we were just dating. i can tell him anything and everything and it is a safe place plus he will push me when i need to be pushed and he holds me accountable. he is the best friend I have ever known, except for Jesus.
i pray that God will give you patience and hope in this journey!! and lots of faith for the perfect guy (perfect for you, that is!)

tam said...

Okay, Sherry Lee... Here's the scoop... As Auntie Mo would say, you're "unclaimed treasure", and sometimes it takes a bit of work to find that treasure. Take for instance the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... who's ever found that except a bunch of weasly leprachauns!!! And nevermind, if treasure was so easy to find, we'd all be pirates and we'd all be rich, neither of which is true. (Although, how great to be a pirate!!) And, my dearest, I know there is a huge camp of people who "feel" that God has the "perfect mate" for you, but i think that's a load of b.s... Never mind, I'd go so far as to say not biblical (but maybe that's a bit too far!!)
There are some people who ARE "perfect" for each other, take Jode and Kim for instance... that's an eccentric match made in heaven, i'd say. But, for instance with Mark and I, and we've talked about this many times, we could easily be HAPPILY married to any number of people... you have your irritations and joys with any relationships, and the misconception that if we're not happy, we must be in the wrong relationship is a frighteningly common, yet terribly wrong, belief.
Have i ranted enough yet? I'll stop. Except, i think we should maybe bring back arranged marriages... we'd save ourselves a lot of headache perhaps. And if you're actually committed to the concept of marriage, you can grow to love anyone (unless they're abusive, and then you can love them, but i'm not going to let you keep living with them!) So that's my two cents for the day... i'm enjoying reading your blog but i only read them all today for the last month, so i've missed the boat on the discussion... but hope you enjoy the (lengthy) comments!