I had coffee today with a good friend and I came to a conclusion. I over-analyze stuff. I think way to much and stress out about things. Love is the spice of life. There is not just one person for me who if I don't marry them I will be destined to a life of misery. I believe that there are a few that I could be very happy with most of the time and some that I would be very irritated with most of the time, so I will choose the first. I am looking for a place where I can be safe and secure and for someone whom with I can give that safe and secure place as well. One friend told me I was unapproachable, not well said but true. Another one said I have a wall that is cracked, but the things that are leaking through are amazing and that when the wall finally comes down it is going to be amazing. I like this analogy better.
I have been pushing people to see if they will stay. THIS IS WRONG. I am here to love and be loved. So no more pushing. I am alowed to challenge people to be the best they can be and they can push me to be my best. No running away!
So I have decided today to be a friend and walk this path that I am on and it is this path that another will join me on, whether we walk forever or just a little, I am going to enjoy it and not freak out.