Adjusting

Large adjustments, small adjustments and fine adjustments. I have been making large adjustments in my life not by choice. Adjustments are hard and it seems like they all come at the same time. I need to make some of my own adjustments but I'm scared. There I said it. I am afraid of what lies ahead. I'm afraid that the change won't work and I'll be stuck in this crazy cycle. I can't do this anymore. I need out.

I feel for people who can't figure out how to change their lives and when they try different things and are met with failure. It would be so frustrating to think you know what the problem is and than not be able to either change it or get the anticipated result.

It's humbling/humiliating to admit when you can't do something, especially when it seems as though everyone else is able to do it. Oh well that's life do what you can. Don't give up. Rejoice when you succeed.

The Oxymoronic Life...that's me:)

Dissatisfied satisfaction...discontent contentment...pursuit in waiting...constantly moving while in stillness.

I walk/run after You.
I'm still in training
If I go to hard at first disappointment will ensue.
I wait hard after You,
Knowing that in the stillness I find you.
I cry out with my ears,
Hoping to hear your voice.

I will pursue you in my waiting,
I will listen in my watching.
I will satisfy my soul in you,
But remain dissatisfied so that I pursue.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy

I think I should lent from Facebook but I've just made some fantastic new friends who are unattached and not very ugly:) Facebook is also very useful to find out if people that you know may have parents who may or may not be your counsellor. Never mind when you realize one day that all your friends use your same counsellor. I think it would be a super easy session I could just show up and say you know all my friend that's how my week has been.

I love my counsellor. I think everyone should go to counseling. To have someone tie it all together for you and bring clarification. So good. The best part is that my first round with her she asked if I felt like I needed to come anymore and I said no. So we parted and than I only came back when I was traumatized at work so wonderful.

That's all I got on my brain.

Simplicity

Funny title for post that's being written on a train with an iPhone. The train is simple. Rules - don't miss the train. Walk around whenever you want. Go to the canteen whenever you want. If the train is pulling into the station feel free to stand up and walk around,go to the bathroom, talk on your cell phone. Now if I was flying, not so much. True I would already be there but with a lot more rules.

This is what I require of you, this is what is good do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with Me.

I think it sounds a lot like riding the train. He knows we get bogged down by rules which is why when He came to earth He simplified it even further to one word. LOVE! Love Me and love others. Now why is it so hard?

Reconciliation

If you are going to spend eternity with someone how do you reconcile with them so that you have a functioning healthy relationship?

Remember

It is good to remember what we have learned. I have learned to rejoice when life sucks. I remember that it is better to be single and pursuing Life than to be married and life pursuing me;)

I have met very interesting and amazing people this year. I was also reacquainted with me and my love for adventure. Sometimes I forget how fun I am, mostly due to media influences. So for Christmas I am going for a long beautiful walk. I believe I shall do this the 23&24 as well.

I love myself and am excited to see what the next few days will hold.

Vancouver

Liquid sunshine is pouring down outside the window. A Buddhist monk just walked by. I'm sitting snug and warm sipping fair trade organic coffee. Mmmmm

Beauty and Hard work

I have come to the conclusion that being beautiful is hard work. It takes effort to maintain. For instance my beautiful room requires maintenance or is turns into on obstacle course. Physical beauty sometimes hard sometimes easy. Mostly for me to receive a compliment all I need to do is have a shower, wash y hair and let it dry down. That's the somewhat easy part. The hard part is walking in confidence and not arrogance or fear a beauty tags along. I know you are probably thinking to yourself "I wish I had that problem."

So here's the deal, with beauty comes attention. Sometimes wanted and a often unwanted. What does a woman do. Wear a long skirt? Did that! Well wear a shirt that doesn't show cleavage. Uhh, did that too! So than the quest is to trust my Protector and to learn how to politely shut down unwanted advances yet be the love and light of Christ. See hard work.

That's all for to day:)