I find myself wanting to change people in my life. If they would just talk more or if another would just say things a certain way, than maybe people would like them more. How dumb is that idea. Yah! People are perfect just the way they are! Why, you ask? Because if no one ever irritated me I would never grow. It is the trials of friendships that make us seek God and the irritations that send our roots deep. In my household when we tell each other what is going on it does two things. One it releases the pressure and allows the other to understand that another has been struggling. Two, it gives us a chance to practice not raising our defenses in the face of correction. So who needs to change? Me! I can change people by changing me. If I grow in love and it spills out than others feel valued. If others feel valued than they grow in confidence. If they find confidence than they will reach out to others. If they reach out to comfort others than there are less people for me to take care of and I start to walk in mutual friendship and not just mentorship with people. I love it when my relationships reach this point.
My sister once told me that I would make a great guy, but that she was really glad I was a girl. (sorry tam you probably don't remember telling me this. It was in the kitchen at the island.) Over the years i have reflected on this. One thing is that I llove to fix things. I fixed my fan yesterday, no more clicking. Where does this need to fix people come from? It is my protective nurturing motherly instinct. I would rather die than see the people I love not being liked by others. So I try to change them into what I think others would like, but really than nobody wins. Since my sister told me this I have changed a lot. I allow men to do things for me that I am completely capable of doing. I do not get offended if no one knows I can do something. (If they want more work than who am I to argue.) I love it when people say they need help because than we know and can say yes, no or this is what I can do would that help.
I have to sign out now I have procrastinated too long. I love you my readers, if you want to do coffee, phone me and we will schedule a time.