June 16, 2005
Another day was spent recovering from my cold. I feel a bit of pain in my ears, but I believe that God will heal me. I am learning to play a new song in French on my guitar. It is “Éclaire Ma Vie.” It is odd to think that I will be returning to T-P, but I anticipate the adventure and the growth I will gain. I would really like to ask one of the people who wants to separate from Canada to explain to me why and if anything would be able to change their minds? I have this funny need to understand what it is that people are thinking and why they do what they do. I have been “reading” (I choose a title from the table o’ cont’ then read) the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. There is this story of three women who are having an hour of silence to discover what the lies in their life are. Anyways they break through their fear and lies and save their roommate who is being spiritually attacked through an “asthma attack” They prayed and her breathing was restored. Anyways I have been believing a lie for the past 6 months actually my whole life that my older brother doesn’t really want anything to do with me and that if I phone him while he is trucking he will be sleeping and I will wake him up, which will put him in a bad mood and I will have all my fears confirmed. I should also mention that I have been deeply impressed over the past weeks and months, actually I was told by God to tell my brother how much I love and appreciate him, but I keep telling God I am too tired too busy, too stressed, too sick…basic disobedience tactics. Anyways I phoned him tonight and he sounded genuinely happy to hear from me. He asked me very nicely if I could phone him tomorrow around 9:00 at home. WOW! That is totally amazing. I am actually anticipating phoning him, this is huge for me. We have gone through a lot my brother and I. God has done some pretty big healings in my heart over minor childhood issues that affected me in a major way and I know that God is able to do more than I can hope think or imagine.
p.s. The chapter title was princess warrior hee, hee, hee
p.p.s. Please continue to pray for my health and a full recovery. I have been coughing for the past hour and have little desire to sit in a doctor’s office for the better part of a day.